~Paradox~

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgement; more experts, but fewer answers; more medicine, but less wellness.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but we have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.

We've conquered outer space, but not inner space.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We have higher incomes, but lower morals.

We've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationship.

These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food; but less nutrition. These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes.

It is a time where there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this message to you, and and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or just to hit delete.

Time Flies. . .

Yes it does. . . Yes. It. DOES.

So I'm looking back on 2009 and it's March 5th already. I've made some headway on my goals, but not nearly what I wanted to accomplish. Why? Well, there are probably dozens of excuses - partying, social events, family stuff, fatigue. . . but it seems a lack of will power can sometimes be our greatest enemy.

One the same note, I've been thinking about the passage of time from a mathmatical perspective recently. For example: take a four year old toddler named Dudley. When Dudley turns a year older, his fifth year will represent 20% of the life he's lived so far. One year divided by an age of five equals 20% - a considerable percentage of time for this young buck.

Fast forward a few decades. . . Dudley has a steady job, a family, and a convertible sports car he recently purchased (he likes to put the top down in spring time to "let loose" - queue the Don Henley music). Dudley is about to turn 50 on Sunday. He looks back on his 50th year as it compares to his whole life. 1/50 = 2%. You see where I'm going with this?

The age old expression "time flies" is mathmatically supported. While a year is 20% to a toddler, that same year is 2% to 50-year old Dudley. What can we learn from this?

Well, for starters we can start expecting time to fly. If time is perceived to be flying by now, it's only going to get faster on a relative basis. That said, don't let yourself be living proof that "youth is wasted on the young". Enjoy every step, every day, every misstep, every challenge.

Because before we know it, another year lived will be approaching zero.

MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR SOMEDAY

. . . . And be relentless. That's it I'm done.

Train of Thought

Ever heard someone say "I lost my train of thought"? Sure you have. It's happened to all of us. Now visualize that saying as a metaphor. . . a massive train slugging along filled with cool ideas and innovative though. We should all strive to be trains of though continually sharing thoughts and ideas with those alongside our tracks! (for more on way of thinking/living, read Love is the Killer App by Tim Sanders).

Who was Fyodor Dostoevsky?

Building off a topic discussed in a previous posting 'Boat Without a Rudder', I'd like to drill a bit deeper on the topic of habits and how they affect our lives. But FIRST, let's take a gander at a quote and its author.

"The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half." - Fyodor Dostoevsky

Just who was this Mr. Fyodor Dostoevsky? His wiki page gives a pretty good overview, but in short he was a Russian writer in the early 1800s, and you've probably heard of his novel Crime and Punishment. Dostoevsky - as he's commonly referred to - lived in hard times. Russia isn't exactly a FUN country. It's cold. It's communist. And in many ways, it's suppressive to human nature and conducive to hard times. In fact, Crime and Punishment was inspired by an all-out gambling bender that left Dostoevsky high & dry, in-debt, quasi-homeless and hungry. Out of this precarious situation was born his protagonist - Rodion Raskolnikov.

Moving on. . . Let's examine the quote. Basically, Dostoevsky argues that the latter half of a man's life is driven by the habits he acquires in the first half. Cynical? Maybe. Depressing? A bit. But is it true? ABSOLUTELY.

Why? We humans are simple creatures. We don't like to hear that (I don't like writing it), but our minds ARE susceptible to repetition. At first glance, it's easy to assume a "habit" is a BAD thing. Just think of how many times you've heard the term "bad habit". But habits can just as easily be GOOD! You just don't hear about them as much.

From our psychological perspective, our minds are designed to make sense of patterns and organize things. When you learn a new task, or view a new painting, our minds build neural connections so that next time the mind can recall it quicker. It's how we learn! Without going into too much depth, these neural networks expand over time and our though patterns become more routine. It's true, I swear!! Just think of a little old GRANDMA going about her day the same way she's done for twenty years. Sure there are little variations here and there, but the underlying neural activity is very similar.
You may be thinking - what the heck do I have in common with a crazy Russian and an old grandma! Good question. But try thinking about it a different way. Dostoevsky's environment was very confining and limiting. He, like many Russians, were in many ways oppressed, maybe even tormented. Propoganda abound. Obedient, mindless behavior FLOURISHES in this environment. Just think of a prison. Yuck.
But on the flipside, we Americans have SO MUCH personal freedom we don't even know what to do with it! The global information age inundates us with more information than we know what to do with! We are figurately swimming in more options and choices than we know what to do with.

. . .But just as Dostoevsky's habits guided him through a Communist winter, so do our habits lead us into a Democratic spring.

"Build GOOD habits or suffer my wrath!"

Rumi, unhindered

Ever heard of Rumi? I hadn't either until a good friend gave me a great book titled The Essential Rumi. Embarassingly, my college epiphanies (typically reserved for parties, girls, friends and finance) failed to include Rumi - one of the greatest poets that ever lived.

Before you read on, you may wish to browse his Wiki bio - but here are the basics:


-He lived in the 1200s (specifically, 1207-1273)


-He was born in modern-day Afghanistan (Persian rule at the time)


-He spoke and wrote in Persian


-He's considered a mystic, Sufi poet (specifically the Mevlevi order he founded)


-His best friend was named Shams (Shams was from Tabriz, Iran)


-Despite his roots, his influence far transcends national and ethnic borders


-He looked something like this:

Very wise indeed :) I choose to write about this legendary poet because he wrote things like. . .

"Let the beauty of what you love be what you do."

"You were born with wings. Why prefer to crawl through life?"

And (my favorite):

"People want you to be happy. Don't keep serving them your pain! If you could untie your wings and free your soul of jealousy, you and everyone around you would fly up like doves."

"هر روز نو جامی دهد، تسکین و آرامی دهد هر روز پیغامی دهد، این عشق چون پیغمبرم"

Rumi changed the world - how many people can say that with conviction? How many people can you say that about with conviction? He's also been described as "the most popular poet in America" according the the BBC (and others).

Credibility aside, I'd like to highlight Rumi's affinity for emptiness. Why? If you're in a meditative, introspective, reflective state of mind or mood, some Rumi poetry and a comfy couch just might be the perfect cocktail.

Rumi's thought and poetry reveal a basic Sufi dynamic: union with his beloved from whom (or which) he has been cut off, and his longing to restore it. It's all about a mystical journey in which the individual soul grows through love, abandons the ego, finds truth, and arrives at Perfection.

The soul then returns from the spiritual journey with deeper maturity and love for creation to service humanity unconditionally. Now that's deep.

So where does emptiness come into play? Rumi loved emptiness, and the void. It's tough to describe why exactly, but he essentially perceived emptiness as pure, untainted and ripe for truth. A virgin void, if you will. Many of Rumi's revelation's on this topic (and others) derive from extensive use of metaphor, specifically nature and the night.

Rumi's knack for metaphor and simple expression of complex issues has cemented him in the halls of fame for all those who challenge themselves spiritually.

Crooked Rivers

Building off October's post (please pardon the delay), I'd like to explore an idea with you that's best summed up by this quote:

"The path of least resistance is what makes rivers, and men, crooked."




Most of our interpretive focus falls on the meaning of "the path of least resistance". The floor is open to everyone - feel free to comment if you agree with one of the below, or have a better one to suggest. Maybe "the path of least resistance" refers to:

- Being lazy?

- Apathy?

- Taking the "easy way out"?

- Making decisions based on convenience, not morality?

- Lack of goals

- Lack of direction

- Yielding to life's inertia rather than your own will power

- Meandering, not steering

- Being reactive, not proactive?

Remember that game Plinko from The Price is Right?! The Plinko puck might be a pretty good example of following the path of least resistance. After falling carelessly, the puck just ends up in whatever slot ended its random walk. For the sake of discussion, let's pretend the Plinko puck is you, and the various pegs represent life's decisions.

The puck is indifferent to the peg and which direction to fall. Similarly, plenty of people approach decisions with indifference and choose this way or that way based on convenience, ease, and the least conflict or resistance. Why? Well that really is the crux of the issue.

Decisions have alot to do with our principles and what we believe in - our "guiding lights" so to speak. Every day we are put to the test in any variety stimuli: a hitchhiker on the road, lost money, a standed motorist, a begger's outstetched hand, a starving child in a commercial, an uncomfortable situation, time pressure at work, cutting corners, borrowing money, procrastinated responsibilities, half-truths, white lies, deceit, honesty in relationships, a friend in need, a favor asked, an inconvenient long conversation. . .

We've all been there. We're familiar with how our minds quickly weigh the effort and inconvenience against the potential outcomes. Truth be told, it easy to say no when no ones looking. It's easy to be selfish and opportunistic. Our minds are terribly efficient rationalizers: "That hitchhiker might attack me," "If I don't take that money, someone else will," "That stranded motorist probably has a cell phone," "That homeless guy will probably just use my money to buy booze," "There's plenty of help out there for starving kids, especially around Christmas," "I'll just tell him later - now is not the right time". . . Ah, the path of least resistance. It's easy, it's convenient, it's the normal swing of things. You could intervene or get involved, but why take the risk? Why me?


O, how sinister this mindset is.

In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

Boat without a rudder

A sailboat's course is determined by 1.) direction of the wind relative to the sails - called the tack, and 2.) the rudder - which essentially steers the boat. The sailboat's tack involves gauging the wind, and trimming the sails to the appropriate point of sail. These actions essentially harness and channel the wind's energy to push the boat forward. Trimming the sails and reading the wind is a much lengthier discussion, so in this space, we will discuss the role of the rudder.


As seen below, the rudder is where the "rubber meets to road" (wow, I need a better expression here. . .) Okay here it goes - A rudder is where the "wood meets the water" (much better). The rudder is a submerged, movable surface controlled by the skipper. To steer, the skipper utilizes the tiller which is connects to the rudder and allows the skipper to change the rudder's angle, and thereby the boat's course.


The underside of most sailboats also have a keel which looks like a rudder but much larger. The keel acts as a stabilizer and a massive couterweight to the wind's sail force. The keel weighs roughly 1/2 of the boat's weight. The keel enables the sailboat to keep a steady course and "heel" which is when the boat leans over to one side under wind pressure.

Now that I've bored you with some boat basics, let's get philosophical. For a moment, let's envision a boat to be a person, and a boat's journey to represent life. The water, wind and weather represent life's driving force, inevitable challenges and obstacles. Pretty straight forward, right?


With a little bigger dose of metaphor, we could probably liken a boat's keel to a person's values, morals and beliefs. Like a keel, they seldom change and act as a stabilizer to outside forces and prevent us from swaying too much - they keep us grounded.


. . . Which leads us to the rudder. I ask you, what does the rudder represent in life? Take a brief moment to think about your answer. . . it could represent a lot of things:

- Goals?

- Dreams?

- Decisions?

- Inspiration?

- Talents?

- Skills?

- Discipline?

- Habits?

Asked another way, if a life was missing it's metaphorical rudder, what would it be missing? What steers YOU?!

Stop reading and start thinking: What steers YOU?! What's your rudder? What allows you to navigate the waters of life successfully? MANY people don't have a good answer to this question. The reason? Read on. . .

From the above bullet-pointed list, the ones most representative of a rudder are:

- Decisions

- Discipline

- Habits

Why? Sailing requires constant attention to the tiller and rudder. The winds and waters are in constant flux, so the skipper has to constantly monitor the rudder while steering the boat. In this light, the rudder is very similar to our decisions day-in and day-out. These small decisions over time add up to a larger impact on our life journey.

Decisions are cognitive choices we make. Discipline is self-controlled behavior. Habits combine the two to establish a pattern through repetition.

*N.B. If you haven't already read Covery's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People buy it and read it this month - you'll never look back.*

Good habits steer boats - and lives - to the best destination.

Interesting tidbit - numerous psychological and behavioral studies have shown that it takes 21 days to make a habit. Meaning, it takes 21 days of repetitious behaviour to establish a reliable pattern. We humans are a fickle bunch!

A life without habits is a boat without a rudder. Establish effective habits today and set sail towards the life you deserve.