*BUCKET LIST*

(1) Cannon fight with real pirates
(2) Great Wall of China (while drinking the Chinese liquor)
(3) Pyramids of Egypt
(4) World Series of Poker
(5) Fly an airplane
(6) Go to World Cup soccer game
(7) Attend the Winter Olypics in the next 10 years

Kurt?

Another month has passed, and still no sign of Mr. Watkins and his comic wit. . .

Kurt. . . I'm still waiting for your joke.

It's been almost a year, and you still haven't made me laugh.

Kurt. . . radio silence

Kurt, tell me a joke. Make me laugh funny man.

Unfashionably Late

It has been said that “eighty percent of success is showing up” – Woody Allen. L Dizzle, I applaud your showing up to the blog eleven times, before I even made my first contribution. That’s around as lopsided as our credit card roulette record ;) It’s kind of like that big paper that was due in school. It seems overwhelming at first, but really all you have to do is sit down and start writing. Maybe it’s the fantastic tablet that L Dizzle has prepared for us to scribe on that comes off intimidating. It will be tough to respond to each of L Dizzle’s postings in kind, but I will go chronologically, and we’ll see what we end up with.
Hmm, easy way to start, clams… Well, I don’t know a whole lot about clams. I have heard that dolphins are one of the only animals that have sex for pleasure (L. Dizzle certainly is another ;)) It does bring up an interesting topic: whether not having a care in the world is actually an enjoyable and/or fulfilling way to live life. I asked my rep earlier if his goal was to live the easy life. Was he working so that he could amass enough money to just lounge during his later years? Would someone really be happy in his later years in life, simply because he has finished working, and now can do what he wants all of the time? Or are we working to accomplish something. Are we working to create something new, inspire thought, progress society, to teach, or create a better tomorrow for those less fortunate…
I think it depends on the type of person you are. I know several people who are the first type. Chris Rock has an interesting stand up routine in which he talks about people who have jobs, and people who have careers. He talks about people who are working towards something, and people who are just working until the clock hits five. There are a lot of people who are just working until they don’t have to work anymore. Many jobs/careers can be means to an end, but if you are the first type, and your end is to just not have means anymore, then that certainly doesn’t seem meaningful at all (slight play on words)
Happy as a clam? Ignorance is bliss? I sure hope not. I can’t see myself looking back at my life when I’m 50,60, 70 and being satisfied that I made enough money to not have to work anymore. That doesn’t seem like much of an accomplishment at all. L Dizzle explained the difference between rich (having money) and wealthy (having time) to me, and said that he would rather be wealthy. Because LD and I have many more similarities than differences, I know he didn’t mean time to just chill. What he meant was time to travel, volunteer, create music, take up new hobbies, start up other financial endeavors, learn, show, and live a full and well balanced life. L Dizzle and K Wizzle are no clams my friend.
Hawaii trip 08’ = Epic. Epic. One of the things I notice as a I get older (27 very soon) is that I forget lots of the details of fun occasions, unless I am somehow reminded of them. I hope this blog will serve as a tool to jog my memory of the tomfoolery I encounter with LD, and I certainly appreciate Mr. Dizzles posts of Hawaii, because I already would have forgotten several of the happenings that I just read through again. He did an excellent job depicting the week, but I will go through and add a few thoughts here and there.
LD started the trip a day late, because he forgot to include that he flew down here to Orange County on Tuesday evening, and the week off at a decent Taco Tuesday with good friends Mr. Kiley and Mr. Flaherty. This is where we convince Aleksandra (yes cute LD) to wake up at 6am to take us to LAX. She happened to be on a date when we saw her at the TT, but her priority would obviously become getting a good night sleep, so as to be in good spirits for her sunrise chauffeur service. LD also omitted the double Kettle soda (me) and double gin and tonic (he) drank immediately before departure.
The flight might have been my favorite one ever. The service was excellent, the in flight pasta served was so delicious we went back for seconds and thirds (remember that a woman in Hawaii hand-made all of the those L?), and we had so many cocktails that they had to ran out of several different brands of our respective spirits. We also played a game I learned from a friend called casino, and we used the DHL cards I travel with everywhere. Although not smart on a plane, because of the way DHL’s domestic strategy was currently crashing and burning. The three hour time difference does a few things, it allows a beautiful early check-in to our hotel, and it allows us to drink for 24 hours straight (do the math: 8am PST – first cocktail, 5am Hawaii time – last cocktail). 0 to 60 with no brakes in sight.
Ok, I going to cut it off here. This post is nowhere near as long as I had envisioned it, but I had to get one out of my system just to break the seal. Nothing fancy, no pictures, fewer quotes then my fellow contributor, but I’ll get into that stuff later. I'm not as savy as mr. LD in the field of writing. I have an appreciation for grammar, but don't fully understand simple things such as the use of the ";". I'll get better...L Dizzle, thanks again for the efforts you have put into getting this up and running. I’ll jump into our first day more in my next post, and I’ll try to ice the Hawaii cake that Luke spent so much time creating. Necessary additions to our blog: A quote section, maybe a joke section. FYI, Chadwick is one of my favorite things from the trip, and he’s not going anywhere for a while.
Much more to come…

~Paradox~

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgement; more experts, but fewer answers; more medicine, but less wellness.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but we have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.

We've conquered outer space, but not inner space.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We have higher incomes, but lower morals.

We've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationship.

These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food; but less nutrition. These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes.

It is a time where there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this message to you, and and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or just to hit delete.

Time Flies. . .

Yes it does. . . Yes. It. DOES.

So I'm looking back on 2009 and it's March 5th already. I've made some headway on my goals, but not nearly what I wanted to accomplish. Why? Well, there are probably dozens of excuses - partying, social events, family stuff, fatigue. . . but it seems a lack of will power can sometimes be our greatest enemy.

One the same note, I've been thinking about the passage of time from a mathmatical perspective recently. For example: take a four year old toddler named Dudley. When Dudley turns a year older, his fifth year will represent 20% of the life he's lived so far. One year divided by an age of five equals 20% - a considerable percentage of time for this young buck.

Fast forward a few decades. . . Dudley has a steady job, a family, and a convertible sports car he recently purchased (he likes to put the top down in spring time to "let loose" - queue the Don Henley music). Dudley is about to turn 50 on Sunday. He looks back on his 50th year as it compares to his whole life. 1/50 = 2%. You see where I'm going with this?

The age old expression "time flies" is mathmatically supported. While a year is 20% to a toddler, that same year is 2% to 50-year old Dudley. What can we learn from this?

Well, for starters we can start expecting time to fly. If time is perceived to be flying by now, it's only going to get faster on a relative basis. That said, don't let yourself be living proof that "youth is wasted on the young". Enjoy every step, every day, every misstep, every challenge.

Because before we know it, another year lived will be approaching zero.

MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR SOMEDAY

. . . . And be relentless. That's it I'm done.

Train of Thought

Ever heard someone say "I lost my train of thought"? Sure you have. It's happened to all of us. Now visualize that saying as a metaphor. . . a massive train slugging along filled with cool ideas and innovative though. We should all strive to be trains of though continually sharing thoughts and ideas with those alongside our tracks! (for more on way of thinking/living, read Love is the Killer App by Tim Sanders).

Who was Fyodor Dostoevsky?

Building off a topic discussed in a previous posting 'Boat Without a Rudder', I'd like to drill a bit deeper on the topic of habits and how they affect our lives. But FIRST, let's take a gander at a quote and its author.

"The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half." - Fyodor Dostoevsky

Just who was this Mr. Fyodor Dostoevsky? His wiki page gives a pretty good overview, but in short he was a Russian writer in the early 1800s, and you've probably heard of his novel Crime and Punishment. Dostoevsky - as he's commonly referred to - lived in hard times. Russia isn't exactly a FUN country. It's cold. It's communist. And in many ways, it's suppressive to human nature and conducive to hard times. In fact, Crime and Punishment was inspired by an all-out gambling bender that left Dostoevsky high & dry, in-debt, quasi-homeless and hungry. Out of this precarious situation was born his protagonist - Rodion Raskolnikov.

Moving on. . . Let's examine the quote. Basically, Dostoevsky argues that the latter half of a man's life is driven by the habits he acquires in the first half. Cynical? Maybe. Depressing? A bit. But is it true? ABSOLUTELY.

Why? We humans are simple creatures. We don't like to hear that (I don't like writing it), but our minds ARE susceptible to repetition. At first glance, it's easy to assume a "habit" is a BAD thing. Just think of how many times you've heard the term "bad habit". But habits can just as easily be GOOD! You just don't hear about them as much.

From our psychological perspective, our minds are designed to make sense of patterns and organize things. When you learn a new task, or view a new painting, our minds build neural connections so that next time the mind can recall it quicker. It's how we learn! Without going into too much depth, these neural networks expand over time and our though patterns become more routine. It's true, I swear!! Just think of a little old GRANDMA going about her day the same way she's done for twenty years. Sure there are little variations here and there, but the underlying neural activity is very similar.
You may be thinking - what the heck do I have in common with a crazy Russian and an old grandma! Good question. But try thinking about it a different way. Dostoevsky's environment was very confining and limiting. He, like many Russians, were in many ways oppressed, maybe even tormented. Propoganda abound. Obedient, mindless behavior FLOURISHES in this environment. Just think of a prison. Yuck.
But on the flipside, we Americans have SO MUCH personal freedom we don't even know what to do with it! The global information age inundates us with more information than we know what to do with! We are figurately swimming in more options and choices than we know what to do with.

. . .But just as Dostoevsky's habits guided him through a Communist winter, so do our habits lead us into a Democratic spring.

"Build GOOD habits or suffer my wrath!"

Rumi, unhindered

Ever heard of Rumi? I hadn't either until a good friend gave me a great book titled The Essential Rumi. Embarassingly, my college epiphanies (typically reserved for parties, girls, friends and finance) failed to include Rumi - one of the greatest poets that ever lived.

Before you read on, you may wish to browse his Wiki bio - but here are the basics:


-He lived in the 1200s (specifically, 1207-1273)


-He was born in modern-day Afghanistan (Persian rule at the time)


-He spoke and wrote in Persian


-He's considered a mystic, Sufi poet (specifically the Mevlevi order he founded)


-His best friend was named Shams (Shams was from Tabriz, Iran)


-Despite his roots, his influence far transcends national and ethnic borders


-He looked something like this:

Very wise indeed :) I choose to write about this legendary poet because he wrote things like. . .

"Let the beauty of what you love be what you do."

"You were born with wings. Why prefer to crawl through life?"

And (my favorite):

"People want you to be happy. Don't keep serving them your pain! If you could untie your wings and free your soul of jealousy, you and everyone around you would fly up like doves."

"هر روز نو جامی دهد، تسکین و آرامی دهد هر روز پیغامی دهد، این عشق چون پیغمبرم"

Rumi changed the world - how many people can say that with conviction? How many people can you say that about with conviction? He's also been described as "the most popular poet in America" according the the BBC (and others).

Credibility aside, I'd like to highlight Rumi's affinity for emptiness. Why? If you're in a meditative, introspective, reflective state of mind or mood, some Rumi poetry and a comfy couch just might be the perfect cocktail.

Rumi's thought and poetry reveal a basic Sufi dynamic: union with his beloved from whom (or which) he has been cut off, and his longing to restore it. It's all about a mystical journey in which the individual soul grows through love, abandons the ego, finds truth, and arrives at Perfection.

The soul then returns from the spiritual journey with deeper maturity and love for creation to service humanity unconditionally. Now that's deep.

So where does emptiness come into play? Rumi loved emptiness, and the void. It's tough to describe why exactly, but he essentially perceived emptiness as pure, untainted and ripe for truth. A virgin void, if you will. Many of Rumi's revelation's on this topic (and others) derive from extensive use of metaphor, specifically nature and the night.

Rumi's knack for metaphor and simple expression of complex issues has cemented him in the halls of fame for all those who challenge themselves spiritually.

Crooked Rivers

Building off October's post (please pardon the delay), I'd like to explore an idea with you that's best summed up by this quote:

"The path of least resistance is what makes rivers, and men, crooked."




Most of our interpretive focus falls on the meaning of "the path of least resistance". The floor is open to everyone - feel free to comment if you agree with one of the below, or have a better one to suggest. Maybe "the path of least resistance" refers to:

- Being lazy?

- Apathy?

- Taking the "easy way out"?

- Making decisions based on convenience, not morality?

- Lack of goals

- Lack of direction

- Yielding to life's inertia rather than your own will power

- Meandering, not steering

- Being reactive, not proactive?

Remember that game Plinko from The Price is Right?! The Plinko puck might be a pretty good example of following the path of least resistance. After falling carelessly, the puck just ends up in whatever slot ended its random walk. For the sake of discussion, let's pretend the Plinko puck is you, and the various pegs represent life's decisions.

The puck is indifferent to the peg and which direction to fall. Similarly, plenty of people approach decisions with indifference and choose this way or that way based on convenience, ease, and the least conflict or resistance. Why? Well that really is the crux of the issue.

Decisions have alot to do with our principles and what we believe in - our "guiding lights" so to speak. Every day we are put to the test in any variety stimuli: a hitchhiker on the road, lost money, a standed motorist, a begger's outstetched hand, a starving child in a commercial, an uncomfortable situation, time pressure at work, cutting corners, borrowing money, procrastinated responsibilities, half-truths, white lies, deceit, honesty in relationships, a friend in need, a favor asked, an inconvenient long conversation. . .

We've all been there. We're familiar with how our minds quickly weigh the effort and inconvenience against the potential outcomes. Truth be told, it easy to say no when no ones looking. It's easy to be selfish and opportunistic. Our minds are terribly efficient rationalizers: "That hitchhiker might attack me," "If I don't take that money, someone else will," "That stranded motorist probably has a cell phone," "That homeless guy will probably just use my money to buy booze," "There's plenty of help out there for starving kids, especially around Christmas," "I'll just tell him later - now is not the right time". . . Ah, the path of least resistance. It's easy, it's convenient, it's the normal swing of things. You could intervene or get involved, but why take the risk? Why me?


O, how sinister this mindset is.

In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

Boat without a rudder

A sailboat's course is determined by 1.) direction of the wind relative to the sails - called the tack, and 2.) the rudder - which essentially steers the boat. The sailboat's tack involves gauging the wind, and trimming the sails to the appropriate point of sail. These actions essentially harness and channel the wind's energy to push the boat forward. Trimming the sails and reading the wind is a much lengthier discussion, so in this space, we will discuss the role of the rudder.


As seen below, the rudder is where the "rubber meets to road" (wow, I need a better expression here. . .) Okay here it goes - A rudder is where the "wood meets the water" (much better). The rudder is a submerged, movable surface controlled by the skipper. To steer, the skipper utilizes the tiller which is connects to the rudder and allows the skipper to change the rudder's angle, and thereby the boat's course.


The underside of most sailboats also have a keel which looks like a rudder but much larger. The keel acts as a stabilizer and a massive couterweight to the wind's sail force. The keel weighs roughly 1/2 of the boat's weight. The keel enables the sailboat to keep a steady course and "heel" which is when the boat leans over to one side under wind pressure.

Now that I've bored you with some boat basics, let's get philosophical. For a moment, let's envision a boat to be a person, and a boat's journey to represent life. The water, wind and weather represent life's driving force, inevitable challenges and obstacles. Pretty straight forward, right?


With a little bigger dose of metaphor, we could probably liken a boat's keel to a person's values, morals and beliefs. Like a keel, they seldom change and act as a stabilizer to outside forces and prevent us from swaying too much - they keep us grounded.


. . . Which leads us to the rudder. I ask you, what does the rudder represent in life? Take a brief moment to think about your answer. . . it could represent a lot of things:

- Goals?

- Dreams?

- Decisions?

- Inspiration?

- Talents?

- Skills?

- Discipline?

- Habits?

Asked another way, if a life was missing it's metaphorical rudder, what would it be missing? What steers YOU?!

Stop reading and start thinking: What steers YOU?! What's your rudder? What allows you to navigate the waters of life successfully? MANY people don't have a good answer to this question. The reason? Read on. . .

From the above bullet-pointed list, the ones most representative of a rudder are:

- Decisions

- Discipline

- Habits

Why? Sailing requires constant attention to the tiller and rudder. The winds and waters are in constant flux, so the skipper has to constantly monitor the rudder while steering the boat. In this light, the rudder is very similar to our decisions day-in and day-out. These small decisions over time add up to a larger impact on our life journey.

Decisions are cognitive choices we make. Discipline is self-controlled behavior. Habits combine the two to establish a pattern through repetition.

*N.B. If you haven't already read Covery's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People buy it and read it this month - you'll never look back.*

Good habits steer boats - and lives - to the best destination.

Interesting tidbit - numerous psychological and behavioral studies have shown that it takes 21 days to make a habit. Meaning, it takes 21 days of repetitious behaviour to establish a reliable pattern. We humans are a fickle bunch!

A life without habits is a boat without a rudder. Establish effective habits today and set sail towards the life you deserve.

Hawaii - Part II

So here's where things started to get kinda crazy:

Day 4 (nighttime) - it's Saturday night, and we've been drinking all day. Against our better judgement, K and I decided to venture out for a night on the town. First stop was the hotel veranda for a warm up act. After meeting two fine young ladies (to be continued) we headed to The Yardhouse for more drinks and (as a necessity) some damn food. We got ambushed by a bachelorette party and stickered with name tags - Fuckable Foreigner (K. Wizzle) and Tasty Tourist (yours truly). The theme of the bachelorette party was naughty teacher (pinch me). After our rendezvous we headed toThe Shack, then Mad Dog saloon where we (narrowly) avoided a fight and partook in copious shot-taking (Jaeger). . . at this point we're digging our own ditches and asking for trouble. Upon closing time we were taken by Russian girls to an after hours club named Black Jack. If this place was a math equation, it would look like this:

Black Jack = strippers + Vegas + sketchy locals + cheap booze -(our money + our camera)

At this point K. Wizzle is seeing double, maybe quadruple. He takes himself outside and decides to take a nap on a curb in a dark alley (and later hotel floor). Meanwhile, yours truly hops in a cab with the Russian girls and heads for God-knows-where. They order the cab driver (in Russian) to pull over near the beach, sprint out of the car, and begin undressing for an hour-long skinny dipping session (pinch me). With estrogen clouding the airwaves I obliged (manly disclaimer: Hawaii is warm, but not that warm after an hour in the ocean).

Day 5 - More pool & beach. Sunset dinner at Duke's. The bartender, Jesse, has 12 years of experience and might have been the best bartender ever - he was essentially reading our minds. I took a picture with a large Hawaiian man, and K. Wizzle stole 150 rubles from some Russian girls on accident (it's only like $8, so don't worry :).

Day 6 - Pool and beach, Asian girls, a strip club (to try and find the evasive lost camera), more girls, tall cans, scootering, wine and sunset, Polish girls, more wine.

Day 7 - (the one I've been waiting to share because this will go down as the best Tuesday in our lives!) The day started of with a scooter ride to Hanauma Bay for snorkeling. Then (here's where is gets good) we schedule and impromptu skydiving excursion on the North Shore. The skydiving place picks you up right from your hotel. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but this place is the gold standard for skydiving (best value, excellent staff, stunning aerials, etc.). The exciting part was K. Wizzle had never jumped before! We jumped in the van and treaded onward. "We just have to make a quick stop and pick up two more people," said the van driver. Whatever. We pull up to a hotel and lo and behold we see the same two Russian girls we hooked up with on our first night in Hawaii (talk about a small island!).

That night we celebrated our skydiving victory at Moose's with drinks a plenty. After several Bud Lights and some foosball we started scoping out the scenery at Moose's. K. Wizzle radared into to two sweethearts from Chicago - Amy and Melissa. We headed back to our hotel, ordered champagne at 2am, and had a late-night guitar session to boot! (these girls could sing everything - country, rock, you-name-it). K. took down a full length, and I stick to the MD/HJ side of things.

This night sounded the final notes of an eight day crescendo of laughs, new experiences, unforgettable memories, and the best of friends.

Catching up on Hawaii

Please forgive the belated post - K. Wizzle and I really have been in a whirlwind of activity since arriving in Hawaii on Wednesday, and we apologize to the delay. To keep things simple, and readable, I'm really just going to break this post down into days with a brief (hopefully entertaining) recap of what's going on. Long vacations, as you know, don't come around very often so we appreciate your involvement as things progress - it really is nice to be able to share with friends!

Day 1 - Impromptu ride to the airport from Alex (*cute) at 6am ~ $5. Board shorts, guitar, sandals, sunscreen ~ $60. Ordering 16 drinks on Aloha Airlines ~ 70. Arriving safely in Waikiki before lunch time ~ priceless. Cheesy credit card satires aside, we really did drink more on the plane than anyone. . . ever. Upon arrival, we stumbled to the baggage claim and then hailed a cab. As a pleasant surprise, it turns out the Moana Surfrider Hotel is stunning - it is the most established hotel on the island, and beautiful in every respect. An ancient banyan tree shades the beachfront veranda as the pool and beach umbrellas bask in sunshine. We quickly accomplished basic tasks: rented scooters (negotiated price down), purchased new board shorts, sunglasses and set up the speakers in our hotel. After dinner at Nobu (*recommended, Robert DeNiro is part owner), we meandered to Level 4 (the primary club in Waikiki). We squeezed our way in wearing sandals (somehow. despite the stringent dresscode,) and ordered a bottle of Grey Goose/VIP table. After meeting two Russian girls and drinking a baker's dozen of Redbull vodkas, we journeyed home with our company to put the night to rest (which turned out to be a scandolous 5am - yikes). Cheers to Russian girls, and Waikiki. PS - since we couldn't finish the bottle, we managed to smuggle it out in our pants (phallic, indeed) - not the most classy move, but who wants to waste vodka? After all, we were with Russians.

Day 2 - Pool, sunshine, jammers, cocktails, girls' phone numbers, more jammers. That's a pretty good recap of the day, but I will admit we passed out at 6pm and woke up at 7am due to the previous night's festivities.

Day 3 - A standout day by all accounts: First, we woke up early for an intense 7am workout (K. Wizzle really toughed it out). Justin, who we meet the day before and saw in the gym, invited us to try stand-up paddle board with him and his family (wife, two kids - Logan & Sawyer). Stand-up paddle boarding (think large surfboard with an oar) proved challenging. After jostling with the ocean swells, gravity, the wind, and our own ineptitude, we somehow managed to stand up and paddle like like a pro (many thanks to Justin's coaching). Rest of the day: 4-hour scooter adventure to Diamond Head (wow), booze cruise on the "Na Hoku" catamaran sailboat, Duke's Bar & Grill, cute girls on a pit stop from Bali/Figi, hanging out Chris from ICM (Jay Leno's agent) , dinner at Tiki's with Kyra, 6 shooter's with Mike (his 21st birthday), kicked out of two Waikiki bars within ten minutes (Moose's and O'Neill's), bottle service (again) at Level 4. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . shenanigans. More shenanigans. Chalk it up.

Day 4 - gourmet brunch at the Hyatt overlooking the beach. One of the things I like best about K. Wizzle is his genuinely kind heart. If there's one person I enjoy talking with more, it's K. He has this unprecedented knack for listening, offereing input, responding and helping - a quality one recognizes is only the best of friends. Great food aside (filet, mushroom omelette, etc), our discussion was memorable. Brunch was followed by today's beach day. In short, we met more Russians (Anna, Natasha, Sasha, and Katya), drummed up beach cocktails (against the rules, but who really cares?), connected with Aussies (Emma & Cassie - best accent ever), played water football, and relaxed in the sun.

Funny stuff: We have an imaginary vacation butler named Chatwick. He does whatever we tell him to do, and he's more than happy to do it. For example, K. Wizzle and I were laying in scortching hot sun on Day 2. We whisper, "Chatwick. . . . cloud." Chatwick then (somehow) obtains a large mest cardboard cutout of a giant cloud and holds it out to eclipse the blazing sun. Chatwick also helps with pickup lines. If we say, "Chatwick. . . girls" he proceeds to the nearest group of cute girls and delivers the funniest and most engaging pick up line ever. We don't know how he does it, but he does. . . and he's more than happy to help. It's all worthwhile to Chatwick because we eventually compensate him in crackers. That might seem strange to readers, but Chatwick really does enjoy (and appreciate) good cracker. Tomorrow, we plan to utter "Chatwick. . . upgrade" at which point he'll swiftly compile all our belongings and move them to our Penthouse suite (did I mention it has a jacuzzi on the balcony?).

Other funny stuff: "That's your boyfriend? Oh, I thought it was your kid brother." (Kurt's line). In Hawaii you will eventually encounter a fat guy wearing a speedo crossing his legs. Similar to a car wreck, you must avoid looking or possible suffer spraining an eye. On the rare occassion the speedo in question has a giant sabre-tooth white tiger on the ass, please call hotel security. Some hotels have unattractive pidgeons. Not sure why I wrote that, but it seems arbitrary enough to stick. Couples, while in Hawaii, undoubtedly engage in hours (if not more) of missionary coitus. Some relish the missionary position so much they actually do it. . . drumroll. . . in a mission. On another note, we saw a hilarious toddler wearing swim trunks. Except his swim trunks were swim pants. Pictures to come.

Closing funny stuff: One way to pay for things while on vacation is credit card roullette. Essentially, the vendor in question takes the participants credit cards, shuffles them around (in a bag, pocket or otherwise) and picks a single card. The cardowner is then responsible for paying. This game is fun - very fun. It's gambling, but with everyday purchases. We initially planned on playing CC roullette for small purchases over $100. But now we play it wiht everything. Why is this funny? L. Dizzle (yours truly) managed to lose the first seven times in a row. This included multiple ABC Store purchases, bar tabs and a $180 dinner at Nobu. The count has since corrected, and is now 11 to six.

Stay tuned for the next posting, and thank you all for your thoughts, emails and calls - we miss you all very much!

"Happy as a Clam"?

Random thought of the day - What's with the expression "Happy as a clam"? Really? For years now (okay months) I've struggled to grasp the meaning behind this old saying. Full disclosure: I have nothing against clams - they're actually quite wonderful for a variety of reasons. However, I don't see how a clam has any reason to be "happy".

Did you know in October of '07 someone found a clam off the coast of Iceland that was discovered to be at least 405 years old? It was declared the world's oldest living animal! Even the mythical giant clams live for 100+ years. Maybe "Old as a clam" or "Wise as a clam" make more sense. Longevity has it's perks, but over the course of a century (or more), how much can that clam really experience? It's not like they travel, or meet other mollusks, or come up for air. It seems more like a interminable life sentence in solitary confinement - hardly the "happy" clam we've all envisioned.

I will admit I've encountered several clams that had a slightly curved mantle resembling a smile. But I couldn't help feeling sorry for the mollusk, pinned to a rock, getting sloshed by briny sea water for hundreds of years. We all know a smile is only skin (or shell) deep, so I'm hesitant to endorse an ancient expression based solely on a curve. Dolphins also seem to be smiling - are they happy too? Yes! They're beautiful, active and adventurous. . . and not pinned to a rock. "Happy as a dolphin" I say!

At the end of the day, the fate of "Happy as a clam" is undecided. Whether or not a clam is truly happy might be ancillary to the fact the saying gets the point across. When someone says, "He's happy as a clam," we all understand the intention. But here at Unhindered Thought, we try and shed a bit of light on things not often lighted. . .

Maiden Voyage

Similar to the champagne bottle's sudsy smash into the side of the Titanic, this inaugural post starts a voyage of two friends: K. Wizzle and L. Dizzle. Also like the Titanic, the voyage will be memorable, large, and unprecedented. The one difference is this voyage will not be doomed or meet catastrophe, but travel in unhindered perpetuity and adventure. All aboard. . . here's to us!